Talking Cats and Climbing the Walls

I’m standing in my kitchen putting groceries away. It’s not a kitchen I have seen in my waking life. I’m searching for places to put the non-perishable groceries. I open cupboards and find them to be extremely ineffectively designed. Each cupboard has an inset that looks like the mailroom cubby holes at work. The inset takes up about 3/4 of the space in the cupboard, and the cubby holes are too small to put anything into. There is only a small band of space at the front of the cupboard to store anything.

As I’m puzzling over this situation, Merlin the cat walks by. I ask her if she wants to go out, and she responds “I don’t think so,” and walks toward the door. I ask again, “Are you sure?”. She says “Maybe, since I’m here already.” I open the door and she goes out. I watch her go, and she turns right and walks under the deck of the adjacent place. I hear a hissing and a shriek, and she comes running back. I step aside so she can come back in, and I take a better look at what distressed her. The grey fluffy cat from the neighbourhood emerges and struts toward the door, as usual. I tell him “not today” and close the door. I hear scratching and turn to see a massive grey paw groping around the floor, having reached through a large, jagged hole in the bottom of the door. The paw is huge, way out of proportion to the grey cat I left outside.

I arrive at work and go to my locker. The lockers are free standing towers, about 4′ tall and 8″ square, far to small to put anything in. I notice all the lockers are standing nicely, but mine is tipped over and some distance from it’s place, like it’s been thrown. I ask the guy who looks after the lockers why mine is in disarray while I move it back to it’s proper place. He says a young man comes and sits in it, and sometimes he gets angry and throws it. I ask how that is possible, and the locker is too narrow to hold my backpack, let alone a person, the guy shrugs.

I leave the area and start work. A signal sounds that indicates it’s time for staff to leave what they are doing and go climb the wall. I make my way with all the other staff back to the locker area. The locker guy stops me as I approach my locker and says, “He’s in there now.”.  Again, I can’t imagine how that is possible, as the locker is only about 8″ square, but sure enough, the door opens and a young fellow I used to play hockey with squeezes out. I say hello, and he just looks at me and walks away.

I gather my things for the wall, and start walking with my colleagues. I feel like something is making it very difficult to walk. I look down and there is a fellow from a past G Adventure tour hanging on my legs, and I am effectively dragging him along. For some reason I feel compelled to make small talk, so I ask if they have been on any other trips recently, knowing that he has, as we are friends on Facebook.

We arrive at our destination, and people set their belongings down and begin to get ready. Women are applying heavy make up, men are getting dressed in togas, kurtas, anything loose and flowing. I decide to just get the climb over with, so I approach the wall.  It’s wooden panelling, varnished with a glossy finish. I begin climbing, easily gripping the wooden panels and pulling myself up. I’m about 20′ from the ground when someone calls up to inform me I am climbing the wrong wall. I lower myself back to the ground and return to my colleagues. I wake up.

Giving Speeches and Negotiating with Cats

Cohort 35 has completed their program. I’m advised by a former colleague that I must give a talk, either at the beginning or end of what I assume to be the graduation celebration. Despite a battery of questions, I can’t conclude what the celebration is specifically for, why I need to address the gathered crowd twice, where the event will be, what sort of remarks would be appropriate, etc.

I spend some time trying to acquire this information. I come across two exchange students in the middle of the lake. It’s not clear whether we are in the lake, on the lake, or above the lake. After I explain why I need the information, they tell me they don’t know, but maybe I’ll find out if I jump from a height into the water. I do jump from a height into the water, I’m not sure what I jump off of.

I’m back with my former colleague, who tells me I will only be doing the opening address, as I don’t have the rank to deliver the closing address. I ask more questions about who I will be addressing, who’s attending, what the content should be, etc. There are no answers.

I find myself sitting clothed on a bed. My cousin is in the room telling me I MUST run a Discover Software class in Southbank, because that is the only program they will consider. She has brought friends to provide testimonials. Three cats jump up on the bed, an adorable little kitten, a smaller grey cat, and a huge orange tom cat. The tom cat has the most to say about the merits of the course, but turns the conversation back to the opening remarks I need to make, and asks me how I’m preparing. He then questions what time I’m planning to head to the venue, and what time the event actually starts. I tell him I have not been preparing, and I don’t know what time the event starts, or even where it is. He tells me maybe there is something that can be done, if only the Southside could access the Discover Software course. We start negotiating times and dates for the course. I wake up.

 

 

Angry Pirate Crab

I am on some sort of summer camp trip, there seems to be a lot of us, staying in accommodations similar to a dormitory. The other campers are a combination of people I know from my childhood through to current coworkers, as well as strangers.

Scenes change regularly from the dorms, to a bus stop where a school bus is always sitting, to a Walmart-like department store, where it seems like people are engaged in a scavenger hunt or something similar.

It interests me that that every time I find myself at the bus stop, I notice that before I speak to anyone, I first start rubbing their back. It makes them visibly uncomfortable, but for some reason it is required.

Eventually I find myself in the water, looking back at a rugged coast line. There are bluffs, and lots of jagged rocks in the water. I have snorkeling gear on, and I am paddling through the water. I look up and notice some kids playing in a tidal pool, and pointing to a brightly colored star fish. I decide to go find a tidal pool myself and see some marine life, so I start paddling.

I realize I’m no longer in the water, it seems the tide has moved way out, but if I kick hard enough I’m flying over the dry rocks rather than paddling in the water.

I proceed this way until I do in fact come to a tidal pool that has a large, bright orange crab in it. The crab does not look very friendly, it has long tentacle-like appendages, and an angry face. It hisses and lunges at me, causing me to falter and I fall from the air onto a nearby rock. I’m busy sorting myself out after my rough landing, when I hear more hissing, and I see Merlin, my cat, swatting at the crab. I try to get her attention to chase her away, but as usual, she pays no attention. Next thing I know, the crab is on Merlin’s back, riding her like a pony. The tentacles have turned into dread locks, not at all unlike something from Pirates of the Caribbean. As I watch, Merlin turns into a tiny palomino pony, and the crab rides her away along the rocks.

Before I wake up, I find myself one more time at the bus stop, rubbing people’s backs inappropriately.