Sharks, Trolls, and Ugly Mermaids

I’m at the hair salon. Its a small space, there are only 2 chairs, but the atmosphere is chaotic. People are bustling about, the place is a network of pipes, vents, gears, and the odd burst of steam escaping from the floor and walls. There is a youngish stylist getting ready to put some highlights in my hair. She is mixing the dye in the little black pots with brushes. I remind her I only one one purple highlight, as she is mixing several pots of dye, and they are all white. She ignores me and keeps mixing. Once she is happy with her work, she tells me I have to move to the other chair, and someone else will apply the color. I do as I’m bid.

As I’m adjusting myself in the chair, a very large woman appears in front of me. I look closer, and I’m not entirely sure she is a woman at all. She is short, and very wide. She is wearing a dress, or maybe something wrapped around her, that’s not what catches my attention. Her legs that are visible below whatever she is wearing are connected together by an enormous roll of fatty flesh, right down to the ankles. Her feet stick out below the roll, splayed out to the sides with no toes. My first thought is “I guess this is what happens when you have a job that requires many hours of standing”, my second thought is “how the hell does she move?”.

It’s an idle question, as I’m now in an inflatable life raft on the open ocean. It’s night time, the water is calm, and the moon is bright. There are several people in the raft, I can hear them, though I don’t see them. I am looking out at the water and am amazed to see thousands of shark fins visible on the surface of the water. There are small ones, large ones, ones that look more like little spires than fins, thousands of them and they are mesmerizing to watch.  As I’m gazing out at the movement and the way the wet fins catch the moonlight, I hear a voice behind me in the raft complain that we paid all this money and we haven’t seen any sharks. I hear another voice contradict him, pointing out how the water seems to be teeming with sharks.

It becomes very important that we get in the water, and it’s my turn to do so. I lay on the side of the raft, then roll into the water, still holding on to the raft. I wait until I feel something bump into my legs, then I roll back onto the raft.

It’s still night time and we are still on the ocean, but now my family and I are in a large stone turret that is rising up out of the water. Some of the walls of the turret have crumbled, and there is a secondary wall around the most exposed half of it. My brother and I are at a control panel, and we are watching the secondary wall intently. Suddenly, one by one, big, clumsy, armoured trolls start climbing over the secondary wall and into the dark watery space between the wall and the turret we are in.  My brother and I start working the control panel, launching large foam boulders at the incoming trolls. They seem to like it.  My dad is standing nearby and asks in a exasperated way if we really need to be wasting our time on this.  I wake up.

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